5 Tips to turn a Dreaded Sports Parent into a Beloved one - Culture Eats Strategy for Lunch- Part 6

Published: Fri, 08/05/16

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Culture Eats Strategy for Lunch

Part 6 - The dreaded (or beloved?) sports parent

The dreaded sports parent. We've all experienced them. We've all seen viral videos of parents heads almost exploding while watching 6 year olds play t-ball. I was coaching my daughter's kindergarten soccer team just a few months ago when the police had to be called to separate two fighting moms. We would all like to eliminate these types of culture-killing moments, here are 5 tips on how to turn the dreaded sports parent into a beloved one:

Set the standards. One of my favorite coaching axioms is 'Anything you see on the field - you either taught it or you allowed it.' Replace the words 'on the field' with the words 'in the stands.' 'Anything you see in the stands - you either taught it or you allowed it.' When you establish core covenants and set the standards for behavior for your coaches and players, do the same for your parents. This team is not just about the kids, it’s about the coaches, the parents, the community - we’re all in this together.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Some coaches, especially as you get into middle school and high school levels, like to create a separation from parents and let the kids pass along all the info to the parents. I am a big fan of making the kids take responsibility for communicating to the coaches if they are going to miss practice or have issues with playing time, etc. But to expect the kids to correctly relay the coaches' messages back to the parents is very unrealistic. Many things will get lost in translation (picture the telephone game.) So bring the parents into the loop. A lack of understanding is one of the main parental frustrations with a coach.
When communicating, establish the parameters. One thing I find a must is the 24 hour rule. This is simply a matter of courtesy, that if a parent has something to discuss, please do not do so for 24 hours before or after a game. This allows cooler heads to prevail. Another parameter to establish up front is if there are any topics that are off-limits. Specifically on that list could be playing time, any other player, or game strategy.
Help the parents become a team - Skip a practice and have a pool party – parents wear nametags so they can all get to know each other.
Stick to your guns - Do not let the fear of a repercussion from a parent affect your coaching decisions. Coach Ray Lokar shared a story with me: He went against his gut – in a game-winning situation – he didn’t let his son (who was his best player) take the shot – he was too worried about the perception from the parents. When you’re the coach – you need to separate out emotions and do what’s best.

Do you have any success stories on turning a tough parent into one of your supporters? Send me a note and share it with me, I'd love to keep learning great new ideas.

Next week we'll dive into ways to build trust in building your championship culture.

Team first - Link to post
Team Cornerstones - Link to post
Positive Environment - Which dog are you feeding? - Link to post
Recognition & Rewards - Link to post
Captains - Link to post
Parents
Building Trust
Seek First to Understand
Coaching your own kid
Perspective & Giving Back

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Craig

Craig Haworth is the founder of Winning Youth Coaching, a site dedicated to helping coaches and parents make youth sports an awesome experience for the youth and the parents. He interviews coaches from around the world and posts them on his podcast, which currently has over 85 interviews and has been downloaded over 80,000 times. He writes a weekly note to coaches and parents. He is married to his high-school sweetheart and they share the blessing of 3 children and live in Franklin, TN. You can sign-up for his weekly note here, find him on twitter at @craighaworth1, or visit his website winningyouthcoaching.com.

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men"

- Frederick Douglass