The anti-entitlement experiment 🏆👑

Published: Fri, 08/25/17

First things first- I want to thank all of you who responded to the email last week asking how I could better serve you at WYC, the input was very valuable and stay tuned as I look for ways to better serve the youth coaching nation! Thank you!

‘None but those who work are entitled to eat' – Aesop

I have been noticing a disturbing trend. Have you ever seen this:

It is game day. There are 2 very different experiences.

First, the kid's perspective (we'll call him Johnny):

His mom wakes him up and tells him he needs to be ready in 30 minutes.

He yells to him mom: "Where are my game shorts?!" Everything else was set out for him, but she forgot to get his shorts out of the dryer.

He sits down at the table and eats the breakfast mom made for him.

He gets in the car, mom asks him if he remembered his cleats, and they drive to the game.

They are running a few minutes late, so mom drops him off and says she will bring his bag and water to him after she parks.

He joins his team, then when it's close to game-time he yells to his mom 'Where is my water bottle?!"

When the game is over, he asks him mom if he can go play at a friend's house, so can she get his bag, equipment, and water bottle and take them to them back to the car.

Then, Johnny's mom's perspective:

The night before the game mom runs all over the house trying to piece together all of his uniform and equipment needed for the game.

Gameday morning she gets up early, gets all of the other kids ready, makes breakfast for the family, fills Johnny's water bottle, and finds the shorts that were still in the dryer.

When she gets to the game, she scrambles around making sure Johnny has everything, making sure everything that is needed on the bench is ready for the game. Then she sets up the video camera gets ready to tape the game.

5 minutes before halftime she gets the oranges out of the cooler and brings them to the corner where the kids will meet at halftime.

During halftime she re-fills Johnny's water bottle.

After halftime she helps the other moms clean up all of the orange peels left by the boys.

After the game she and all the other parents gather with the coaches and players to talk about all the great things the boys accomplished on the field that day.

Johnny leaves with his friend, and she cleans up all of the Gatorade wrappers and trash around the bench. Then she carries Johnny's bag and equipment back to the car.

When she gets home she gathers his uniform and game clothes and washes them.

And we seriously wonder why kids are entitled today?

I know a lot of you don't let the kids you coach get away with this, but we could all probably do a much better of letting the kids own the experience.

I noticed some of this type of behavior starting to creep in while we met as a parent board in starting the new lacrosse program I am coaching.

So we took a step back as a parent board, and asked ourselves;
'What activities needed to get this team off the ground could be done by the boys?'

The answer was - A bunch of it!

So we are setting off on an endeavor to truly let the boys own this team. We are having our player/parent kickoff meeting next week, and we have broken down all of the assignments into 6 categories. We have a parent liaison assigned for each, but they each have specific assignments that will be done by the boys. Things like:

Organize and create folders for player paperwork
Create site to share pictures
Research and plan community service project(s) for team
Backstop net building/goal building
And much more...

I am preparing the same type of ownership of much of our practices. 3-man groups that each will have specific assignments during practice. I'm still working on those, I'll keep you posted. (practices don't start until after Labor day.)

It always comes back to the saying

'Anything you see in your children: you either taught it or allowed it'

We know being entitled will severely hinder our children, so let's not allow it. Let's great hardworking, gritty kids, who take ownership in everything they do. They sweep the sheds, they carry the water.

I'll keep you posted over the coming weeks on how this goes. I'm sure there will be things that fall through the cracks. But that's okay. The lessons learned will be worth it.

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NEW WYC PODCASTS

WYC 127 – Injury Prevention – Dr. David Geier talks Practice Design & TedX

Dr. David Geier is an orthopaedic surgeon and sports medicine specialist who provides education and commentary on sports and exercise injuries for athletes and active people to help you stay healthy and perform your best.
He started writing articles on his website – DrDavidGeier.com – in August 2010 as a hobby. His goal at the time was simple – to share sports medicine and wellness information in easy-to-understand language for athletes, parents, coaches and other healthcare providers.

Go to podcast episode

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Make winning the right way your habit starting today,
Craig

Craig Haworth is the founder of Winning Youth Coaching, a site dedicated to helping coaches and parents make youth sports an awesome experience for the youth and the parents. He interviews coaches from around the world and posts them on his podcast, which currently has over 125 interviews and has been downloaded over 200,000 times. He writes a weekly note to coaches and parents. He is married to his high-school sweetheart and they share the blessing of 3 children and live in Franklin, TN. You can sign-up for his weekly note here, find him on twitter at @craighaworth1, or visit his website winningyouthcoaching.com.

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men"

- Frederick Douglass